


1010 Goes To Michael's Craft Store

by SophieGoose



Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26936713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieGoose/pseuds/SophieGoose
Summary: [Crack-fic] When the 1010 bots accidentally break a vase in Barraca Mansion just before Tatiana arrives for a visit, Neon J gives them a dire mission: to go to Michael's Craft Store in Akusuka and acquire a replacement before time runs out and they're all deactivated for this grave mistake! Can they make it out with their bounty in time, or will the forces of retail chaos prevent them from completing the mission, and thus incurring Tatiana's wrath?
Comments: 20
Kudos: 114





	1010 Goes To Michael's Craft Store

**Author's Note:**

> ((So, this entire fic is based off a silly conversation I had with some of my friends on Discord, in which we wondered how the 1010 bots would react to ending up in a Michael's craft store. This is entirely silly, nowhere near canon, absolute and complete nonsensical crack. Please do not take this seriously in any way. The names and assigned colors/personalities for the 1010 bots are my own headcanons. Enjoy. :V))

It was 9:30pm, and everything was on the brink of total ruin.

The vase was shattered.

Dirt, water, and leaves were scattered all over the foyer.

There was not a single replacement in the storage area, and they had roughly half an hour to fix the obvious hole it left in the decor.

Neon J didn't say a word, his shoes clanking loudly on the fine granite tile of the mansion floor as he paced, biomechanical mind racing with the possibilities, the worries, and the panic that was slowly filling every spare gigabyte of his processor.

Tatiana would be here in half an hour, and would, regardless of his currently available actions, notice that something was wrong.

If they just cleaned up the mess, the obvious lack of a vase and plant in a room so pristenely, carefully, and symmetrically decorated with them would be obvious.

If they merely took out the plant across the foyer from the broken one, the asymettry with the rest of the room would be just as obvious.

And if they simply removed all the vases and plants, it'd be even MORE obvious: even with five military-grade robots at his disposal, Neon J couldn't concoct a proper solution to this with the resources he had on-hand, nor with his mind racing away from him like this.

Squarely under the pressure of quickly elapsing time, Neon J dreaded the worst: Tatiana was a perfectionist, especially when it came to him and his troops. 1010 in particular, amongst all of NSR's artists, had the most rabid, the most enthusiastic and attentive fans, always seeking out the most minute of details about the robotic idols and their private lives. As such, they, in Tatiana's eyes, had to be most cautious, the most pristine and orderly when it came to how they presented themselves, their music, and their abode...

And having a smashed vase, misplaced decor, or a messy foyer was as much of an insult to her than well...an actual insult. And one does NOT insult Tatianna (not if one wants to remain alive, that is).

Pulse rising, the idea of failing the mission, of messing up in front of a woman as terrifying as the CEO of NSR itself creeping in, Neon J made an executive decision: he'd just replace it. No one would ever know the difference.

Now, with a goal in mind, he was quick on his feet, already searching the net for nearby stores that were still open and selling the exact type of plant he needed, the commander quick to call upon his troops:

"SOLDIERS!"

"Atten-TION!" came the sing-song chorus of all five 1010 members as they marched in and stood in the foyer, a slightly nervousness in their tone, a barely-recognizable discomfort on their faces as their Neon J barked his orders, all of them feeling a bit worried, a bit guilty about the night's events.

They had been messing around in the foyer, obviously (said messing around possibly involving Zimelu challenging Rin to an arm wrestle...while balanced on top of the balcony...blind-folded), and it had clearly caused some damage. Needless to say, they could all tell that Neon J was not taking it well, and, if they were honest...

Tatiana scared them too.

"Deploy! Mission: acquire serial number-"

Before Neon J could even finish, the sound of his scheduled alarm cut him off, distress apparent in his voice as he shrieked, quickly pushing the robots towards the garage bay doors, shouting:

"No time for a briefing here, go go GO!"

Before any of them even knew what was going on, the five bandmates had all been loaded into one of their many flying limousine airships, Neon J quickly overriding the autopilot on the vehicle as the idols strapped in, all of them slammed back against the padded seats as Neon J slammed down on the gas.

As the airship slowly stabilized in the air, the robots began chattering amongst themselves, watching with hushed tones as their manager practically stabbed an address into the GPS with all the ferocity of a soccer mom 10 minutes late for her afternoon coffee stop.

"Are we in trouble?" asked Zimelu, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"Um, yea," replied Rin, pale optics narrowing with disdain at his red counterpart, "I'd say so."

"Where are we going?" asked Purlhew, barely peeking over the top of his glasses at the city lights streaking by outside.

"I don't know" murmured Haym, looking over at his compatriots with a concerned stammer in his voice, "I h-hope it's nowhere dangerous..."

"I hope it's Starbucks," Eloni stated, completely nonchalant.

"WE'RE HERE! GO GO GO!"

The idols had barely registered the limousine stopping before Neon J had them up and out of their seats, rushing them through brightly lit, automatic doors, retracting away to reveal-

A craft store.

Specifically, Michael's craft store, and, in particular, the one deep within the neon shopping district in Akusuka.

In an instant, their mission directive was loaded into their minds, sent from Neon J himself: locate the exact model of vase and potted plant needed to replace the broken one in the foyer, acquire it, pay for it, and safely return it to the mansion. 20 minutes hard time limit.

Neon J was already way ahead of them, the sound of his metal boots on the tile echoing back to them from several aisles ahead, interrupting the quiet atmosphere of the shop, so close to closing time.

Meanwhile, all five idols stood in sheer, stark silence in the entry vestibule.

They had been to retail spaces in the past, certainly: they had done promotional work for their albums and products in stores before...but now, presented with a massive, strange new space, with countless tantalizing sections open to their perusal, no crowd of fans or velvet ropes to stand behind, and an item to search for amongst the many unfamiliar aisles and loaded displays...

It was overwhelming.

Overwhelming and, simultaneously, AMAZING.

And so they stood, in silence and awe, as Neon J, meanwhile, practically barelled through a starstruck stock worker.

Screeching to a halt and landing his hands squarely on their shoulders, he cried out, frantic:

"YOU! Where do I find item SKU 7819-"

"I-I...I, uhm-"

"THE POTTED PLANTS! HOME AND GARDEN SECTION! PLEASE!!!"

"B-back of the store, left corner-"

"THANK YOU!"

Taking off again, the cyborg bolted towards the objective, but not before calling back:

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SOLDIER?"

"Chr-Chrys?"

"THANK YOU, I'LL DO THE SURVEY!"

As the determined commander made his way deeper and deeper into the winding aisles of the seemingly colossal space, his troops were performing reconnaissance.

Yes, that was what they were doing, exactly.

That excuse agreed with their programming, thankfully, providing them with an easy loophole to meander a bit on their way to the objective.

"What is all this stuff?" questioned Purlhew as he stared up at the towering displays of seasonal decor, knick-knacks, and crafting materials galore, icy blue optics glinting with curious glee through his glasses as he and his compatriots strode along.

"No idea," shrugged Zimelu, running his fingers along a nearby shelf of fabric paint and tie-dye kits, "looks pretty interesting though, huh?"

"Stay focused," grumbled Rin, remaining the most intent on the objective out the five, keeping his white optics on the horizon, locked onto Neon J's position through his internal GPS system when-

"Wait a second."

Zimelu and Purlhew stopped in their tracks just as Rin turned, the pale-haired robot asking:

"Where are Haym and Eloni?"

Immediately, the trio was glancing around, realizing now that they were so starstruck, so distracted by the surrounding shelves that their yellow and green counterparts had slipped away, their GPS signals now squirreled away to far ends of the store.

Rin let out a beleaguered, autotuned sigh, stating:

"Please go find them: I'll rendezvous with J and assist him with the objective. Regroup and meet up with us."

"Roger," stated Zimelu, a slight tone of annoyance in his voice.

"Affirmative" Purlhew nodded, adjusting his shades slightly as he turned on his heels, the blue bot locked onto Eloni's signal, and Zimelu onto Haym's.

It seemed this short, simple mission was about to become a whole lot more complicated.

~~~

Haym was transfixed.

His programming was not crafted for this kind of sheer, unbridled choice, this massive spread of varying, exciting stimuli, and, as the possibilities piled up in his processor, his transfixion only seemed to deepen.

He was standing in the toy and dollhouse miniature aisle, a wide swath of shelves to his left, and dozens of little pegs of product hanging to his right.

Detailed figures of dragons, faeries, dinosaurs, exotic wildlife and more beckoned to him from the toy shelves, begging to be picked up and examined, all while his yellow optics reflected their sunny glow against the clear plastic bubbles of the packages of tiny garden fences, customizable doll furniture, miniscule cups, tea cozies, potted plants, and dollhouse finery.

It was unlike anything he'd ever encountered before, and he couldn't help but reach, ever-so-slowly, ever-so-carefully towards the waiting packages.

Surely, the others could handle the mission for a few seconds without him, right?

~~~

Purlhew bobbed his head to the overhead music as he moved towards Eloni's position.

He was keeping up a steady pace, but, try as he might, he too was unable to entirely shut out the sights around him.

He never got to openly explore places like this: him and the others were always ordered to stand in one place in stores, always peddling some product, signing autographs, greeting fans, singing a song or two...sometimes all of the above, all at once. To be given this kind of freedom, this kind of open movement in a place like this was cool.

It was really cool.

He liked it.

A LOT.

Slowly honing in on Eloni's signal, and, convinced he'd earned it, he allowed himself a quick glance down at a passing display and-

Oh.

Oh, that was neat: stickers.

LOTS of stickers.

Tons of different designs, too: some he recognized, and some he didn't. There were stickers themed after animals, places, stars and shapes, letters, and, hey, even Sayu and 1010 themed ones!

He absentmindedly grabbed a set of 1010 ones off the peg, intending to show them to the others when they met back up and-ooh! Sparkly planet ones! He bet DJ Subatomic Supernova would like those...and maybe some iridescent mermaid ones for Sayu? Oh, he HAD to get the cat meme ones for Eloni, he'd lose his mind and-SWEET TATIANNA WERE THOSE FREE SAMPLES?!

Y'know what? He was still moving towards the objective: maybe he could..."look" for Eloni in this aisle a little bit longer?

Yea, he'd go with that.

~~~

"Ughhh..."

Zimelu sighed angrily under his breath as he shuffled himself towards Haym's position, annoyed at every turn as he worked on the objective.

He kept finding his crimson gaze meandering, running over the shelves, tapping his fingers along displays to the beat of the music above as he went, a bit torn between his orders and the idea that he'd leave this place so soon, all without having had a chance to get a good look around.

He and the others weren't afforded a place like this to explore all that often, and try as he might to follow the directive, he just couldn't keep focused and-

WAIT.

He knew those beads!

Stopping and turning towards a nearby deluxe bracelet-making kit, he grasped the box in his hands, shaking it slightly, hearing the beads inside rattle around pleasantly as he looked it over, recognizing the shiny red and black glitter beads, the little heart-shaped charms and the alphabet beads the box showed being laced into a big, elaborate necklace...

One of his fans had made him one of these!

He smiled at that thought, not needing to be secretive about it with his bandmates and manager far away. He was programmed to accept each gift, ever letter and fan interaction with the same amount of cordial, bad boy disdain in public, but he couldn't lie: he liked getting gifts from fans, and liked handmade stuff especially. It warmed his heart (or, at least, the emotional circuits of his processor), and he kept each and every one...even if Neon J occasionally got mad at how much he kept stashed away in his room and near his charging station.

Holding the box in hand, he didn't want to out it back down a crazy thought crossing his mind: maybe he could try making some stuff himself?

Was he even programmed to be able to do that? Make things? Well, now he HAD to know, and he HAD to try it out, at the very least.

He'd just sneak the kit in with the houseplant at checkout. Neon J wouldn't even notice if he did it right: it couldn't hurt to try, right?

Right?

~~~

Neon J practically slammed into the multi-tiered display at the back wall of the home and garden section, the cyborg skidding on the tile, surprising a nearby worker, whom the monitor-headed man immediately caught the attention of, shouting in a frantic tone:

"YOU!"

"M-Me?!"

"YES!"

"Y-yes?"

"YES, YOU!"

He pointed a hand towards the tall, multi-tiered display, the highest shelf of which was easily 15 feet up, frantically pointing out the lone potted plant and vase that remained up there:

"I NEED THAT!"

"...s-sir," the employee began, her bright blue eyes wide, her heart-shaped pupils dilating with suprise (and a bit of fear) towards this yelling, unstable robot as she stammered, tgriwn off-guard "you are aware that t-that's a display m-model, and may come with potential dust or defects-"

"I DO NOT CARE: BRING IT DOWN THIS INSTANT, IT'S AN EMERGENCY! I'LL PAY FULL PRICE, I DON'T CARE, PLEASE!!!"

"A-Alright!"

The woman was quickly jogged away, returning with a tall, industrial strength ladder, her curly hair bobbing slightly as she made her way up to the top display shelf, Neon J tapping his foot at an ever more frantic, nervous pace on the floor below, leaving a few cracks in the tile.

The clock was ticking, time running low: there was only 15 minutes left until Tatianna's arrival, and he needed at least a few minutes to drive back, get the new vase in place, and everything cleaned up before she arrived.

Watching as the employee neared the top step of the ladder, turning towards him with a little bit of bad news, he bolted into action the second her words registered in his auditory system:

"Sir, this model is very heavy: I think I'm going to have to go get the forklifT-"

The woman was quickly supplanted as Neon J leapt up the ladder, effortlessly lifting the employee up by the collar of her shirt, dangling her out of the way as he equally effortlessly lifted up the large plant and accompanying vase with his other hand and, not paying the closest attention to his actions, planted the woman down onto the display, leaving her high off the ground on the display shelf as he jumped back down the floor below, speaking at the speed of light:

"YESTHANKYOUI'LLTAKECAREOFITFROMHERETHANKYOUFORYOURHELPWHAT'SYOURNAME?YOURNAMETAGSAYSDANA?THANKYOUDANAI'LLLEAVEAGOODREVIEWTHANKYOUTHANKYOU-"

"S-Sir, wait-"

It was already too late: having skidded down the ladder at full pace, Neon J was already scooting on off with the houseplant, the ladder clattering to the ground behind him, leaving the poor employee stranded up on the display without any safe way down.

She sighed, shaking her head: there was never a closing shift without some sort of chaos, right?

~~~

Rin heard the ladder clattering, recognizing it (and the distant echo of a nervous robotic voice) as a potential sign of Neon J and the objective, but, well...

He'd gotten lost.

Actually, "lost" wasn't quite the right word for it: he could pinpoint the location of him, Zimelu, Haym, Purlhew, Eloni, and Neon J with ease using his on-board GPS system, but he was...sidetracked. Yes, sidetracked was a good word for it.

He was certain he had gone through this same aisle at least twice now: he recognized that display of glue guns, that shelf of foam cones and wooden dowel rods, and that section of corkboard but he just kept going in circles.  
Something had him puzzled, confused, distracted and searching endlessly, but he didn't know quite what.

What was he after? Neon J? The objective? A rendezvous point? One of his lost comrades? Something on the shelf?

Something on the shelf: it had to be, right? Why else would he be gravitating back to this section again and again?

Rounding the corner of the aisle again, he took a second to breathe, collect himself, and closed his eyes. He then opened them, resetting his optic input: what was he looking for?

His gaze now back on the aisle, he found it out quickly, the white glow of his optics illuminating an entire section of foam, foamboard, and foam shapes.

He tilted his head slightly, reaching out a hand, running his fingertips over a nearby chunk of the springy, airy material, not quite sure what his intentions with it were, but, as he lifted it, held it in his hands, he began to see just what this little grey block was.

POTENTIAL.

Pure, untapped potential.

He could carve, glue, mold, cut, and form it into anything he wanted, the sudden pressure, joy, and enormity of creation weighing heavily the automaton's mind, his hands quickly following his new directive as he piled a few chunks up into his arms, gathering them close like a bountiful harvest until-

~~~

"ATTENTION!"

"AttenTION!"

Neon J heard the voices of his troops from all across the shop, the cyborg now starting to lumber under the weight of the oversized vase and plant in his grasp. The adrenaline of his nervous outburst was finally wearing off, leaving him more certain in the mission now that he had the objective in-hand...but also maybe realizing the absurdity of his actions, now that he had gone this far (and after realizing just how HEAVY this darn thing was).

What the heck were all his soldiers doing scattered across the store, though? Hadn't he ordered them to head to the objective, given them coordinates, a clear goal? There couldn't be THAT many obstacles or enemies in here, right? Regardless, it was time to pack up and move, time was running short.

"RENDEZVOUS: MAIN REGISTER, GO GO GO!"

"GoooOOO!"

Hearing his soldiers harmonize, having acknowledged his order, Neon J could now focus on getting up to the register WITHOUT damaging his quarry, and, if everything went according to plan..

His soldiers would meet him up there, assist him in getting the target home safely, and have everything ready, neat and tidy for Tatiana without a hitch.

Hopefully.

Please.

~~~

Purlhew rounded the corner into the costuming section with inquisitive eyes.

He could have sworn he was right on top of Eloni's signal, but, honestly, it was hard to tell at this point and he was a bit preoccupied.

The blue-hued bot had decked out his shiny black chassis with easily a few dozen free stickers, a couple dozen more sets clutched in his hands...and, held in his arms was another customer he had run into in the sticker section, the tall man cradled, bridal-style, by the robotic idol. He had casually engaged Purlhew in conversation about the stickers he had picked out, and had been quickly whisked away, carried around the store by the excited robot, the customer seemingly indifferent to being man-napped by this overstimulated automaton.

"Eloni? Where are you! We have an objectiv-"

"Right behind you, dingus."

Purlhew turned, just barely catching the sight of a pair of glowing green optics amongst a wall of various colored feather boas, Eloni emerging in quite the snazzy getup.

He was enrobed with several yards of shimmery shear fabric, three pairs of goofy oversized sunglasses (one pair on his face, the other two hanging off his circular hair) and about 5 feather boas of various colors, practically burying his face away from sight.

Purlhew was slow to respond:

"Um...wow."

"Right?!" Eloni replied, attempting to sashay to show off his outfit, only serving to tangle the boas around him more, hiding his face more beneath their fluffy coils.

"...uh-huh. Anyway, we've gotta go: J needs us at the register and-"

"AAAAAAAAAAA!"

~~~

Zimelu had finally arrived in the toy and miniatures aisle, letting out a small grunt of achievement as he did so.

He'd finally located his comrade, and had only, I repeat, ONLY strayed from the objective for five minutes, AND had limited himself to JUST seven deluxe beading kits, all which he carried in front of him, only obscuring his vision SLIGHTLY as they towered over his head

Fluffed up with pride and self-accomplishment, he approached Haym's signal and-

"AAAAAAAAAAA!"

-was shocked to hear his comrade cry out, practically dropping all he was carrying all at once, looking down to see his foot firmly planted through a bizarre display on the aisle floor.

There was a full spread of dollhouse miniatures, dragons, dinosaurs, and animals below, all displayed together in bizarre configurations. There was a family of grizzly bears sipping tea, dragons sat at little school desks, dinosaurs having a ballet recital, all decked out in ill-fitting doll tutus...

And, presiding over all this chaos were two people: the first a store employee, her pastel pink skin blushing a deep red as her presence was acknowledged, and Haym, who continued to make mortified noises over the delicately-assembled cafe set that he had seated two knights at before Zimelu had smooshed it underfoot.

"Oh, crap, my bad-"

"Bu-...But I...I-I was gonna give them cr-croissants and l-lattes..."

Zimelu straightened up slightly, carefully placing down his beading kits and approaching his yellow counterpart with all the caution of crossing a minefield, avoiding disturbing anything else Haym had carefully set up.

Once reaching him, the red robot gently lifted Haym's head up, giving him a hug, and gently patting him on the back as the yellow sobbed, Zimelu whispering:

"It's okay buddy: why don't you grab a few of your favorites and we'll head up to the register, okay? Boss has the target, let's go."

Haym sniffled but nodded, quickly gathering up a handful of dinosaurs in tutus, the knights and their respective café chairs, the family of grizzlies, and pack of assorted tea cozies and treats before bidding his employee friend adieu, the woman waving pleasantly as the duo finally made their way to the objective, all five idols chiming in at once, in perfect sing-song harmony:

~~~

"En route!"

Oh sweet mercy, if that wasn't what Neon J needed to hear right now.

Finally struggling up final stretch and into the register queue, he was pleased to find it empty save for the lone closing cashier, waiting patiently for him to head on over.

Struggling under the weight of the heavy houseplant, the cyborg slowly made his way across the tile, straining the whole way, huffing and puffing (despite lacking lungs) as the cashier waited...and waited...aaaaaand waited for the failing bot to make it the last 10 feet or so to the till.

"Do you need some help, sir?"

"Negative, I've got it handled!"

"...are you sure?"

His stubborn pride aside, Neon J was happy to hear the sounds of five approaching figures knowing the sound of those robotic limbs anywhere, but uh...

Something sounded off: why were they approaching so slowly, so out of sync?

Regardless, his focus was on the objective, the veteran commander forcing himself forward, step after step, approaching the till with slow, deliberate determination.

He would not fail.

He would not falter!

He would not give up!

"YeaauGHHHHHHHHH!"

He would, however, being feeling this in the morning: finally hoisting the heavy plant up onto the cashwrap with a mighty bellow, he slumped forward against the till. The face of a rather confused, blue-hued cashier peered out from around the oversized plant, stating, calmly:

"Uhm, Sir? You could've left it on the floor: there's a scan tab under the rim of the vase-"

"No undoing it now!" he stated, cutting them off, his tone triumphant, brimming with accomplishment, and pleased as punch to have the hard part of the mission over. If he had a mouth, he'd be smiling ear-to-ear. Nothing could possibly ruin this moment!

"Troops!"

"Sir yes, sir!"

Pleased to hear the autotuned voices of his beloved soldiers, and knowing he needed only to command them to make a hasty (but careful) get-away to complete the mission, Neon J turned on his heels to face them and-

What.

W h a t.

The first of his troops he saw was Rin, carrying easily his own weight in foamcore, foam blocks, and foam glue, his face barely visible between a gap in the boards.

Beside him was Zimelu, carrying several oversized boxes of beads and beaded jewelry kits, looking just the tiniestttttt bit sheepish as he made eye contact with his boss.

Next to him was Haym, tears of oil still quivering in the corners of his optics as he clutched a cornucopia of brightly colored dinosaurs in tutus, bears, miniature tea cups, and other such miscellania.

Standing at the back was Purlhew, his black armor plating covered in random stickers, even more stickers tucked under his arms, and a somewhat bewildered-looking customer being held bridal-style in his arms, also carrying stickers, looking overall quite accepting of the whole situation.

Finally, there was Eloni, his emerald gaze barely visible behind a comical amount of feathers, fabric, and gaudy sunglasses.

For several seconds, an agonizing eternity for such a finely-crafted and efficient set of military machines as Neon J and his troops, they all stood in awkward silence.

And then Neon J let out a roaringly loud, exasperated sigh, slapping the top of the till with a loud clank, commanding:

"PUT IT ALL UP HERE, WE DON'T HAVE TIME! GO, GO!"

The idols were of course, delighted, even if it was clear they had caused quite a bit of inconvenience for the cashier, as well as themselves.

Rin could barely carry all his foam once it was packaged up, his arms hung with easily over a dozen big bags.

Eloni had tangled all of his feather boas and fabric into a knotted mess, almost taking his own head off at the connection joint as he struggled to remove it, Neon J having to help him untangle himself, counting down each wasted second with growing dread.

Zimelu dropped one of his boxes, scattering beads in every direction as far as the eye could see, making his compatriots trip a little here and there.

Purlhew was thoroughly unconvinced that he couldn't take his new friend with him, no matter how much Neon J demanded the poor soul be "put back" where Purlhew found him.

And, finally, it was the cashier themselves who had trouble with Haym, trying to avert their eyes from the yellow bot the entire time, a vivid blush across their cerulean skin as they missed with the scanner several times, trying to avoid his eager gaze, happy to have been allowed to keep the Tyranno Tutu Troupe and the Teabears.

By the time everything was rung up, Neon J was beyond fed up, the cyborg giving strict orders and strict directions to the boys as they communally lifted and moved the heavy plant, Neon J dragging their many heavy, overloaded shopping bags behind him, with sound of their limousine airship taking off at violent speed the last sound the store heard for the night as, finally, the staff was left alone to close up...

Alone to handle a massive mess of beads by the cash till, a still half-built city of miniatures and figures in the toy aisle, a confused customer that had been carted around by a robot pop star for the last 15 minutes, a bunch of scattered feather boas in costuming, a stranded stock worker up on the display in home and garden, and a poor flustered cashier, barely able to hold themselves together after meeting their favorite 1010 member.

Ah, there was never a dull night in Vinyl City...

For better or for worse.

~~~

The second the doors of the limousine opened, the team of perfectly-programmed bots got to work.

Haym and Eloni got the new plant into place, perfectly aligning it with the one on the opposite side of the foyer, down to the most minute of angles and position.

Rin and Zimelu quickly cleaned up the mess of the shattered one, each dispatching of the dirt, ceramic shards, and plant fragments with careful precision, not leaving even a single mote of dirt on the tile.

Neon J opened one of the many unoccupied hangars in the garage, haphazardly stowing away the boys' spoils, panic slowly rising with each elapsing second.

Purlhew kept watch on the skies and road outside, acting as a sentry as the others frantically cleaned up, calling out to them just as the guest of honor arrived at precisely the time she stated she would: not a second later or before.

Throwing open the doors to Barraca Mansion, the CEO of NSR entered the space with all the regality and confidence she was known for.

Upon entering the space, Tatiana was greeted by just the kind of sight she liked to see: Neon J and his troops, all standing at the ready, as pristine and perfect as ever.

"Good evening, Commander," she began, a soft smile on her face, "I trust all is well."

"Yes, General Tatiana, Ma'am!"

"Eheh," the woman replied, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes at Neon J's quirky military mannerisms. Whatever kept him busy and productive, she supposed.

Stepping further into the mansion, she acknowledged the gathered automatons, inquiring:

"And how are you tonight, my ever-radiant quintet?"

"Better now that you're here, boss" schmoozed Rin.

"Blessed as always to be in your presence, General," Purlhew added.

"Always happy to see you!" chimed in Haym.

"Ditto," mused Zimelu.

"Good," shrugged Eloni.

"Mhmmm," hummed the towering, intimidating woman, the weight of her gaze making Neon J flinch as she turned her attention back to him, Tatiana beginning, "now, onto business, J: I have new survey data from the fan poll I want to go over with you, as well as potential modifications for the-"

Clink.

"...what was that?"

Tatiana stopped speaking for a moment, peering around with a slightly lifted eyebrow, wondering what she had heard in the echoing, museum-like silence of the pristine mansion.

Finding nothing out of the ordinary, she continued:

"...like I was saying: I believe it's time we put more of our resources into your fleet, esepcially given the recent dissidents down in the residential areas. I think it would be best to start with-"

Ca-CLINK! Scrape, scrape!

The sound was even louder now, the all-too-recognizable noise of shifting, cracked ceramic catching the CEO's ear, all present tensing up in immediate panic as she slowly, calm turned towards the new potted plant.

Leaning down to examine the vase and it's resident greenery more closely, Tatiana resting one hand under her chin, it taking everything in Neon J's power not to blow a circuit or two, trying to remain calm as-

TINK!

Tatiana had flicked her finger against the surface of the vase and, in an instant-

It was all over.

The vase cracked along an unseen, internal fissure, sending dirt scattering across the floor, onto her pants and shoes, and, as its roots came loose, Tatiana was swiftly bopped in the face by a gaggle of leaves, stalks, and flowers, sending her glasses clattering to the floor as the plant slumped out of its broken container.

Again, the room was silent, but the robots present were not quite so calm: Rin was frozen in place in shock, Eloni had fled to the balcony above in one swift jump, just the signature ring of his hair and his glowing green eyes visible as he peered over the edge, Purlhew could be heard dashing down the hall, and Haym was clinging to Zimelu, who looked just as terrified as he was.

Neon J stood perfectly still, stuck in place as Tatiana slowly stood back up, brushed off her clothes, cleaned off her glasses, and placed them on the bridge of her nose, not a single syllable uttered as she stood there, back turned to him, silent for several agonizing moment before, finally...

She spoke a low, bemused chuckle in her voice:

"Ugh, pitifully fragile things, aren't they? Just order a new one: put it on NSR's tab, I'm sure the Finances department won't mind, and if they do, call me. I think Michael's sells this specific one, actually: I'll send over an intern to pick it up and-...J?"

The cyborg had slumped to his knees, radar monitor head tilted to the side, the cyborg silent for a moment before wordlessly collapsing forward onto the ground, taking a deep, long breath in, and then releasing a long, haggard scream into the tile, his troops watching in silent terror as Tatiana approached the man.

Calmly clasping the bot with powerful hands, lifting him up from under his arms the way one might do with a lazy cat, the woman calmly tilted his monitor head back into place, patting him gently on the head before continuing, unable to hide her amusement:

"Now now, no need to cry over a little mess, hmm? Anyways, lets get the logistics squared away, and then we'll call it a night, hmm? It seems you've already had your share of adventure for today."

Slowly emerging from their hiding spots as Tatiana strode away, Neon J swaying like a ragdoll in her grasp, 1010 gathered round, all staring at eachother with wide-eyed shock.

"What do we do?" asked Haym, cautiously peering down the hall at Tatiana as she went.

"I mean, the mission is already over, right?" asked Zimelu, following Haym's gaze.

"I...guess so?" added Purlhew, turning to face the other members, "what do you think, Rin?"

"I think Zimelu's right," he said with a shrug, "the mission is over, we have no more orders."

"So what do we do?" pondered Purlhew.

After several seconds of silence, Eloni made a suggestion:

"Y'all wanna see if I can beat Minecraft while hanging from the chandelier by my hair?"

"yeeeeEEEEEAAAA!" the group harmonized, quickly making preparations for their next round of shenanigans...

And with that, things had once again returned to normal in Barraca Mansion.


End file.
